My Life as a Demon (Posted on Forums)
I must say, I don’t remember everything from my demon life (hopefully the knowledge returns once I leave this body, when we unbind). This is what I am currently aware of.
I’m a demon incarnate, meaning a demon that incarnated into a human body here on Earth. In my demon form (because I am also Draconic), I’m something someone called an “Altissimus Demon” also “The First Principal of Seventy-Two. The Altissimus Demon is a composition of Altissimus Demi (Highest Demi – Known for their great sight between the realms), Deity, and a demon body. As for the Principal that is another longer story.
Why would a demon incarnate?
There are several reasons. Firstly, curiosity.
Demons love watching humans and trying to understand why they act the way they do. What better way could there be than to incarnate and see for yourself? But that’s not the only thing… Life as a demon is rather lonely, most people cannot see you or cannot communicate with you, or if they can, they either try to summon or to banish you; and thus my only friends were my family back when I was not reincarnated. Being human is kind of like being on holiday. I try to gather as much information as I can in this life. Everyone who knows me knows that I love gathering information on everything. They usually come to me with questions.
By the way, many people ask me about my -human side- and my -demon side-. I don’t like to split my thoughts. I am demon and draconic, that’s it… The human part of me is only a vessel.
2. My “Non-awakening” When I was a young child, I was totally fascinated by the concepts of physical pain and death, which really scared my playmates (that’s why Gabe and I almost never had any). I don’t know how many times I was supposed to die, but never did. (Goes to show when you have a purpose in life, nothing will harm you until it’s done.)
I knew I was something different than them (at the age of approx. 4!) but couldn’t point my finger at it then. Growing up, I took on human ways of acting; still they wouldn’t like me or accept me in a group, even before I said a word. So I did what I normally did. Stick with my physical twin brother, Gabe. I don’t know when I first thought of myself as a “demon” but obviously it was no surprise to me, just the proper word for what I felt to be. But I do remember talking to the moon once while we were driving down route five in Amsterdam. Ask for my powers, next thing you know I had some.
Years passed, I started doing magic and stopped again, I discovered my Psionic abilities (telepathy, lesser mind control,…)… about one and a half years ago I started feeling wings – I thought I was totally crazy now but got used to it. Discovered my most powerful (back then) ability…Deals. Two years ago I found a link to an Psychic site and suddenly everything had names (!) and there was no question what kind of kin I was… people on several kin boards helped me put my memories together which had emerged over all the years… still no feeling of “awakening” or so… really, it is as if I had always known, even though I didn’t have names for it then. Maybe the “awakening” part was to realize there were more people like me and what I can do.
3. What is a demon?
A demon, in true form (ascension), is generally an entity made of 95% energy and 5% other things.
Demon kin are, as far as I discovered, quite moody individuals who seem to attract negative incidents. They are very curious, they observe humanity and sometimes seem quite out-of-place. They also have to get used to being in a physical body with all its limitations and obligations (eating, sleeping…). Demons often see themselves as actors who play human and usually have little to no real friends, because most don’t like humanity for a certain reason. They don’t let themselves be put into a precast scheme (that’s why they are so hard to define) and generally avoid extremes. Apart from that, we are often (but not always):
o brutally honest
o having a strong sense for honor but also for freedom
o moody (especially when disturbed by someone)
o loners (cannot really attach to someone)
Some of us are also:
o actors/shape shifters
The one thing that really all of us seem to have in common is our affinity with chaos. Most demons under Hell already know the slogan. “With Chaos comes Control.” My way of “shape shifting”, if you can call it that, is following different patterns of acting. It depends on my mood, the occasion and the people around me and can vary from well-behaved intellectual to destructive beast. I wouldn’t call those different personalities though, just a way to get along without too many troubles.
But I am mainly a watcher of human behavior. That is, as long as you don’t realize you’re watched. Some people are sensitive and notice me, I usually leave then.
There’s a long list of demon subtypes, but I will try and enumerate the most common ones:
o Big Seven
Some people claim that fallen angels who devote themselves to evil and lose their compassion are also a demon subtype. I think that’s just a matter of definition. I haven’t found such a kin yet. Generally, angels and demons are NOT the same. They seem to have many things in common, i.e. an energy body, another semi-physical form to communicate and a strong sense for justice. However, there are more things that separate us. Angels, for instance, love to preserve order, whereas demons live for the chaos. As far as I have discovered, people just feel what they are. I know for sure that I’m not an angel. Yes, I am an empath and I often help people (especially old people, seems like I can handle them pretty well and learn so much). However, I am quite selective in who I help, which seems to be something that separates demons from angels very clearly.
4. Demons and the Evil
Are they evil? – Are Humans Evil? Lol. As well as humans being either remorseless or good natured, there are also many kinds of demons. Generally, they may be a little more distrustful (in others’ intentions). Most of them are not evil-minded, although they sometimes seem like that because firstly they have their own view of “good and bad”. If you attack them, they can get quite unfriendly. Also, being summoned makes most of us real angry. I know that someone once summoned me – a person who was not capable of dealing with a demon. Poor guy, let’s just say he is sleeping with the fishes…the dead ones.
We also seem to have a tendency to attract negativity and we learned how to deal with that so we don’t fear it anymore, and then redirect it so it affects our targets. In human form it’s harder to cope with because, for instance, either we have no luck at all or we have luck when we don’t need it (because of others getting jealous etc.). This seems to be the fate of a demon, whatever we do; it turns out negative in some way. But that’s why a really good demon like me will use that negativity to affect a certain outcome to will it in our direction.
5. Natural Form vs. Human Body
Most demons have a body in their natural form but don’t require much to survive, so it’s quite confusing to be in one after incarnating form Verse to Earth. Eating, drinking, talking, restricted psi abilities, sleeping… just to mention some things we’re not used to.
My berserker and ascended demonic form is hard to describe, it is mostly energetic covered with a demonic looking body, and I can’t get into too much detail. My senses differ greatly from those of a human. There are no borders between them, so hearing and seeing is almost the same, I absorb and interpret oscillation. That way I can also tell whether something is hot or cold (infrared?) although I couldn’t burn or freeze. My natural vision is rather strange, it is not as clear as human sight but it is mixed with energy sight so it is quite different from the restricted perception of human eyes.
My base form is a rather tall about seven feet, greenish demon with two wings, slightly longer ears, big eyes, sharp teeth and tiny horns. I can look really innocent in that form – it is something in between a real body and my natural state, people can see me more easily unless they don’t WANT to see, one of my core abilities in that form is to make those around me and myself invisible. Touching things is easier this way, plus, I can speak really loud. Floating is also more difficult in that state, that’s why I have wings (the upper two for flying, stabilizing with my tail). Another disadvantage of the base form is limited agility, compared to the ascended state.
Some things that the three demonic forms experience are: lowered physical pain, touch (at least not the way humans feel it), no sleep (though I can if I really wanted to), and many more. however, I can feel mental pain (when someone banishes me or when one of my cats died – remember stray cats were my only friends then), curiosity (I love watching humans and this human body gives me an excellent chance to do so without being sent away all the time) and compassion (although it’s a bit different and if you aren’t aware of the concept of physical pain, you cannot easily feel with a hurt life form).
There are many disadvantages in being in a human vessel… now I know the concept of physical pain; illness etc. and I must say being in a human body all the time is rather uncomfortable. To eat and to sleep are also things I couldn’t really get used to yet (and I’ve been in this body for more than 2 decades now!). Something I also never knew and that I really hate is cold temperatures. As a demon, you can sense hot and cold but it doesn’t hurt or get uncomfortable… as I told you, a demon’s senses are generally very different from a human’s.
Getting to sleep is terrible – my mind is awake and my body gets tired. Very often my body falls asleep and my mind is still fully working, that can be quite boring. Someone told me this was a good start for OBEs but I am always projecting anyway, I project so much I can go to Verse or Hell even while typing a full on conversation with someone.
In base form, demons feed on energy/emotions that living beings emit (special case: succubi/incubi who provoke people to release energy through sex). For my case I have to feed like a vampire. I really forget to eat sometimes, mostly my stomach brings it to my mind after a day or so and sometimes I even find it disgusting, no matter how good it tastes. I would prefer to stop doing it but since that’s not possible in this human body, I just adapt and try to eat what I like. I cannot stand being in a situation where I am forced to eat three meals a day; mostly I eat once or twice. Eating food is somewhat strange because first you are hungry, afterwards you’re full and both states are rather unpleasant to me. Sometimes I end up puking.
Something else that I couldn’t get used to in all those years: no telekinesis, restricted telepathy, my old god powers when I was head of the Levant Pantheon. Especially the first… sometimes I unconsciously stretch out my arm for something and then realize I cannot extend my “essence” (the outer area of my true form) to grab it.
I very much miss my wings, I can feel them but that’s all…damn veil. Physical limits and exhaustion are also new to me, although I don’t think I could flip a bus when in natural form… guess I never tried…
6. Demons and others
As I said, demon kin prefer to walk alone or with just a handful of good friends. They are used to getting hurt rather than being accepted, which explains their inaccessible behavior.
I am quite a social person; I care a lot for old people and children (though I think that is what I learned in a human vessel this carnation). However, there are people who just seem to fear me, with no obvious reason. Meanwhile I have developed a feeling for who I could get along with and use to treat all the others with sort of a polite lack of interest. This works quite well. Apart from that, with growing age, people seem not to notice me as ‘something different’ anymore or they don’t WANT to see it (referring to their ‘reason’). But I have my mate (demonic type of word for wife) and we live happily with our kids.
One Song that seems to be made to 100% completly repersent me is 'Drop The World' by Lil Wayne ft. Eminem .
Link to that song is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErCAOMi5EGM&ob=av2e
That’s all for now Baal Domiel out.
Forum Post: http://www.mytk.org/post433.html#p433