Ego and unconscious

This article was written by aeromaster.

Ego

We all have an ego. We can be hurt by what people say about us, we can be selfish, we want to look good to others, and we lie to avoid trouble. We say that some people have a "big ego."

What is this ego? Though most people take it for granted, it seems a bit like a limitation.

Actually, not everyone does have an ego. Those few who are "enlightened" are supposed to not have one.

Unconscious

While to most people it will seem that what goes on inside of them is pretty straightforward, everyone does have an unconscious. This unconscious is a part of us that we are not aware of, but which does influence much of our acts and feelings. Of lots of things we do or feel, we do not really know where they come from, although they feel compelling nevertheless.

We may start feeling sad, scared or angry for no apparent reason, although it does seem to make sense somewhere inside. We may stay occupied with particular thoughts for long periods of time. We may fantasize about situations from the past, or things that might happen in the future. We can stay angry about things way longer than seems reasonable. Even when we realize that this does not actually help us in any way, we are not really able to stop doing that.

When we dont really understand why we are feeling something, apparently, we are not aware of some part ourselves. It is unconscious. We suppress feelings, trying not to have feelings that are unpleasant, negative, or uncomfortable, or when they are overwhelming. We might, for example, think it is weak to feel fear, and dont want to feel it because of that. Or we may be convinced its wrong to be angry or to feel hatred, and because of that suppress these emotions. It may be unbearable to feel rejected or hurt. We want to protect ourselves from these feelings.

When we do that, we are making those feelings unconscious. In fact, feelings dont go away when we suppress them, they just go hidden. Although we are no longer aware of them, they are still influencing us. Our behavior and reactions keep being influenced by those unconscious feelings, and we keep having thoughts that are related to them.

Superego

The superego makes up a large part of our unconscious. It is the part of us that makes us conform to particular rules, that makes us "behave." It judges us, criticizes us, and makes us feel bad when we do something "wrong." It is what makes us feel guilty and ashamed. It is our "inner critic" or "inner judge.

It judges us for whether or not we conform to the rules. Next to making us feel guilty and ashamed, it makes us feel stupid, idiotic, foolish, thick, dense, and a loser. That is, if we do not suppress these painful feelings.

While the superego has our best interest in mind, it is not a friendly character. We usually hardly notice the superego controlling us. We just "know" we shouldnt do certain things, and we shy away from them, or we just know that we "must" do things. Most of it is, in fact, unconscious.

Sometimes we feel that we are guilty of something, when in truth there is nothing wrong with what we did. We may feel guilty for being lazy, when there really is no work to do. We can feel stupid for not knowing how to do something, when we never actually had an opportunity to learn it.

Being yourself

While we want to be ourselves, we often are not. We reject our own feelings, when they are unpleasant or "wrong," and whenever we are defensive.

In order to be happy, we need to be ourselves. It may seem paradoxical, but to be able to be happy, we do need to allow also our unpleasant feelings. How can you be genuinely happy when you are not completely yourself, dissatisfied with the feelings that are actually there deep inside? If we dont allow all of our feelings, we can only have a superficial sense of happiness, with suffering going on under the surface, leaking out into our awareness every so often.

In meditation, you concentrate on a particular point in your body. When you notice that your have drifted away from this point of concentration, usually by thinking about something, you gently return to it. By meditating, you learn to become more aware of what is happening in you, and to stay present with that. You learn to be more in the moment, and just be with what is there. Over time, this makes you calmer and more relaxed, and more yourself.

-aeromaster

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1 Comment:

By: aeromaster
try to get unconscious mind to your conscious control. i think that my ego and superego is both died!

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